Portia de Rossi is a brave woman. In her memoir, "Unbearable Lightness", de Rossi reveals the ugly details of her struggles with eating disorders, weight, and self-image problems, as well as her reluctance to come to terms with her homosexuality. She offers a true behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to be a successful actress in this day and age, and what some women resort to in order to stay in the game. The fears and insecurities are all out on the table, bringing this celebrity down to the human level, and giving the world a clue as to what might be going on in the minds and lives of other celebs as well.
What this book boils down to is that celebrities, particularly women, are held to impossible standards of beauty. This is bad enough, since talent should be more indicative of success than physical characteristics; but when there are millions of women, teens, and young girls looking up to these stars, the result is disheartening. The viewing public sees a finished product, one that has been airbrushed, made up, worked on, and perhaps starved, drugged, and overworked; and thinks it's normal to look like a 90-pound porcelain doll. And furthermore, since the vast majority of people do not naturally look this way, the impressionable public feels deficient and unattractive. Being bombarded with unrealistic images of perfection doesn't do much for one's self-esteem. Neither does feeling like a total outcast, while yearning passionately to fit in.
De Rossi started her career, at the age of 12, striving for the impossible. As it turned out for her, the impossible was possible, but not without dangerous, life-threatening, and spirit-crushing consequences. Not only did she strive for years to force herself into an ill-fitting mold, she denied her true desires in the process. The result was an unhappy woman, living in fear that her homosexuality and her true self would be discovered, and her "dream" career would be over. She tried to live her life as she thought a "perfect" person should, and anything that wasn't perfect had to be hidden. The truth, of course, is that no one is perfect, and there is not one right way to be, look, love and live.
The disturbing details de Rossi shares about her eating disorders are eye-opening. Obsessive behaviors, odd eating and exercising rituals, self-denial, constant extreme dieting, bingeing and purging: some of these may be commonly known aspects of anorexia/bulimia, but this vividly personal account makes it so much more real. The photos accompanying the pinnacle of the memoir, and her disorder, are particularly gruesome.
When faced with the reality of impending death, de Rossi finally began the long road to recovery. Little by little, she began to accept and heal herself. Self-acceptance included finally feeling free to come entirely out of the closet and live freely as a lesbian. This story, fortunately, has a happy ending.
Alysia George
http://michigalmom.blogspot.com/
copyright 2011 all rights reserved
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