Review: A Selective Mutism Memoir

Today is the 4th of July, the historic day when America, the nation that I was nurtured and raised in, declared independence from the tyrannical constraints of the mighty kingdom of Great Britain. Fireworks will be going off later today in the most ostentatious fashion, and patriotic spirit will run high.

But, at the risk of committing treason, I will be reviewing a book today by none other than a lovely Brit named Jessica Thorpe, who overcame her selective mutism. The book is called Slipping in and out of my Two Worlds, addressing the dichotomy between the public, silent environment in which people with selective mutism exist, and the relatively normal and even slightly boisterous life they lead on their own terms. Here is my review of that book:

It's really good. As someone who has also struggled with Selective Mutism, I found myself relating to many of her experiences, and quietly reflecting on my own life. For instance, there's a lot about bullying and how it not only affects someone with SM, but also anyone who has ever had to deal with that, which is why I think her story is enlightening whether you know anyone with SM or not. But if you do know somebody, this book would be a great insight into the bare essence of any SM's life.

Something very unique about Jessica's book is that it's one of the few books from the perspective of someone with selective mutism, rather than a professional handbook or a story by a parent (which are also good reads, by the way). This gives her nearly 200 pages of first-hand experience a lot of honesty and intimacy - a very personal touch.

It's not especially meant to be a how-to guide on how to get over SM (although there is a lot of useful advice and information packed in there for anyone who wants to know), but rather the focus is more on sharing a coming of age story filled with love, hope, friendship, and many lessons about life in general. (I say coming of age here because she is only 19 - barely out of the womb and already wrote a memoir!)

Anyway, the book and the writing style is very easy to read and gets better after every chapter. The only thing that might trip up some American readers who aren't already familiar with it is the British lexicon and school system, but it isn't hard to figure out from the context. Just a heads up, some things are spelled weird, and bunking school = skipping school.

The content is PG-13. Despite the title, there isn't much monkey business described in the book except for a part about how her dangerous, rock and roll, cigarettes and alcohol lifestyle would have done her in, if not for the gallant lover who comes to save her at the end of the book. I highly recommend Jessica Thorpe's book Slipping in and out of my Two Worlds to anybody who wants to get a deeper understanding of what it's like for someone with selective mutism.

You can get the book... here.

If you'd like to find out more about selective mutism, you can visit my website at http://selectivemutismonline.com/.

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AfterImage: A Brokenhearted Memoir of a Charmed Life, By: Carla Malden

Death is something we all will have to face at some point in our lives. Carla Malden, author of AfterImage: A Brokenhearted Memoir of a Charmed Life, writes candidly about her husband's battle with cancer and how she has learned to cope with his death. She is also the co-author of her father's book, Academy Award winning actor Karl Malden, When Do I Start?

Laurence Starkman has been in Carla's life ever since she was sixteen years old. They had a happy and loving relationship. Often many of Carla's close friends would either get a divorce or continuously complain about being married. Carla and Laurence were truly content with the loving quality and longevity of their marriage. Laurence was a very talented filmmaker, director, editor and screenwriter; essentially he was a Renaissance man. Carla and Laurence wrote screenplays together and had a successful career using their creative talents working well together as a team. Carla was more verbal and Laurence was more visual -- a magical system that worked for them. They also have a beautiful daughter, Cami, who is a gifted artist.

Laurence had a history of ulcerative colitis starting around the age of twenty. He occasionally went to the hospital for procedures, but eventually he got better requiring fewer treatments. However, one day Laurence went for his routine colonoscopy which changed his life and everyone else's life in the Starkman's family forever. Laurence was diagnosed with cancer, and given the unfortunate bad news nobody wants to hear.

Carla researched all the medical terms and everything available on cancer treatments. They made sure to have the best physicians in place to tackle this disease. Laurence needed surgery and underwent the operation. From the moment after his surgery, he felt very confident the doctors removed all of the cancer. He firmly believed the chemotherapy treatment would be a breeze, and he would emerge from the process cancer free.

As time went on, Laurence eventually was in agonizing pain. Painkillers joined the mix of nerve desensitization medications which he had been using to comfort the neuropathy. His torment would simply not go away. He and Carla sought all pain remedies possible. At one point they bought a Zero Gravitychair, enabling him to occasionally doze off; but it really wasn't effective. Laurence visited the neurologist, urologist, and the pain management specialists regularly. The clinical treatments helped for only a few days at a time. The doctors ran multiple tests to find out why he continued to be in so much pain. They found three tiny nodules and a film around his liver. The oncologist told them he had three things to deal with: Pain management, diagnosis, and treatment. Surgery was not an option any longer, as they would need to look into other ways to treat Laurence.

Along with traditional Western medicine, they tried everything possible to help cure Laurence of cancer including: Hypnotists, nutritionists, Chi Kung, Feng Shui, acupuncture, massage therapy, plus others alternative methods. Sometimes Laurence found relaxation with just a simple thing such as playing a Sudoku puzzle as being a comforting form of Zen, taking his mind off of his condition.

Laurence and Carla were in this fight together and were virtually inseparable. They did everything together. This health issue was a completely foreign twist of circumstances for each of them. It changed their lives in a way in which they both knew what the outcome would be, whether they spoke about it or not. As I read this book, it felt more like a love story than a chronicle of his treatment leading to the end of Laurence's life. Carla and Laurence had a genuine love for each other; a love that is so powerful they felt it will never end even after life itself ended.

Carla Malden has written an unforgettable, deeply touching and honest portrayal about her husband's eleven month struggle with cancer and how she was able to adjust to becoming a widow. But be forewarned; it's not easy reading. To acknowledge the dying experiences of someone else, we must confront our own mortality. Those who take the journey through to the end of the book may discover unexpected places within themselves more comfortably left alone. This book is filled with human moments of anger, pain, humor, and beauty set in the context of resiliency. The unifying theme of AfterImage: A Brokenhearted Memoir of a Charmed Life, is a firm belief that all of us have a natural healing process for coping with loss if we can trust ourselves and those we love. I appreciated Carla Malden's accessible writing style and her willingness to tenderly share her vulnerabilities. She was courageous to go to a place that I am sure was painful for her to visit in order to have written this book.

There is nothing more difficult than losing a loved one. This is a book that can help in the healing process of a recent death or even help with the memories after time has passed. It teaches us how loved ones come together and provides comfort for us when we need it the most. It's not about fearing death--it's about embracing life.

Nicole Sorkin is the Managing Editor for Pacific Book Review.

http://www.pacificbookreview.com/

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A Memoir of Childhood Terror - A Story of Healing

Arms Akimbo: A Journey of Healing, written by Audrey Roth, is the story of a terror-filled childhood and the aftermath of pain and healing. Roth chronicles her life from a childhood of sexual abuse and incest to the recovery process that led her to write this book for others.

From the age of three years old, Roth was repeatedly molested by her own father. As traumatic as this always is to a small child, Roth found ways to survive the pain and emotional distress. With the help of diverse groups of support, Roth was able to work through the healing process that all child-victim survivors must eventually face.

In Arms Akimbo, Roth tells of the various groups in her life that helped her heal. For example, from a spiritual standpoint, Rabbi Kleinbaum convinced Roth that she didn't have to embrace the Judaism of her parents, but could create the role that religion was to have in her life.

Artistically, a community called Mudflat in Massachusetts opened their arms and led Roth to find creativity in the molding of clay with her hands, while her mind worked through the pain in her heart.

Psychologically and emotionally, Roth gives credit to therapists such as Evelyn Schroeder, who was also a friend and mentor and supported Roth through her father's death and sorting through devastating memories. During late night phone calls to friends and supporters, Roth poured out her damaged heart and soul and the result was a network of love that helped her see that she had true value.

During the writing of Arms Akimbo, Roth also had the help and support she needed from friends, professionals and family members who believed in her writing and encouraged her to keep writing. The memories that Roth extracted during the journey of writing her book were painful, but she kept on going through tears of angst.

Roth describes her childhood existence as living in a "Jekyll and Hyde" home, where her father could be loving and nurturing when he was sober, but was another personality when he was drunk. From the outside, Roth's family looked ideal - a mother whom everyone thought was perfect and a father who was always the "life of the party." But, inside the family was another story. Alcoholism and child molestation were the dark little secrets within the family and were never spoken of.

As the years marched on, Roth realized that something was wrong - that emotionally, she felt as if a volcano was about to erupt. When she had her daughter, she knew that something had to be done and she began the journey of healing that was to take her into the deep recesses of her mind to face the demons that lived there.

Arms Akimbo: A Journey of Healing, written by Audrey Roth is an incredible story that can be a beacon of light for others who have gone through similar childhood traumas.

Lauren Smith is editor for the Virtual Book Review Network - reviews books by well known bestselling authors and books by soon to be recognized names. For more information, visit: http://VirtualBookReviewNetwork.com. This review covers Arms Akimbo by Audrey Roth.

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An Amazing Memoir By An Amazing Man

Three grains of wheat are so small, and seemingly insignificant, but it's what they can represent that's important. A mere three grains of wheat, and the promise they represent, can influence a person's entire life. In his memoir, Three Grains of Wheat, Mike Papasavas looks back on an extremely rich life in which more than once, the course it took was influenced by small things that made all the difference in how he went from a rural life in Rhodes, to Germany, then Canada, and finally, America. The story of how he went from his humble beginnings to become a successful businessman, banker, and family man in America is nothing short of miraculous, and led me to believe, as I was reading, that Papasavas' belief that the course of his life has been divinely guided must have some basis in fact. Three Grains of Wheat is an inspiring memoir of how grit, determination, a belief in the importance of the small things in life, and an abiding religious faith can take a person literally anywhere he or she wants to go.

What do three grains of wheat mean to you? Possibly nothing, as they are so small. But to Mike Papasavas, then known as Emmanuel or Manolis, they represented a promise that one day his life would change for the better:

One day when I was working in the fields, I was suddenly overtaken by a strange sensation of depression, fear, anxiety, and desperation. At that moment, I stopped the animals in the middle of the path. I took three grains of wheat from one of the bags and placed them under a stone. This act-those three grains of wheat beneath the rock-symbolized my commitment to one day abandon the village life and seek my own path. Those three grains of wheat have served as a reminder that there will always be opportunities beyond the familiar.

I like it that much of the tale of the author's earliest years as a boy in the Greek village of Agios Isidoros, where he was born in 1938, is told in the form of flashbacks to his past that Mike has while traveling by train to Bonn, Germany. His memories of encounters with Nazis, and of his school career and of when he temporarily ran around with a gang of other young boys, are very interesting. Some of the things he did, like banging on a hand grenade, made me wonder how he ever survived to enjoy the success and happiness of his later life.

Another memory Mike has on the train illustrates the crucial importance of the number three in the author's life. It was when he was trying to attend high school, and pay for the tuition himself. It was a time when he had little money left over from his job to buy any food, and he survived on very little to eat, like bags of peanuts. He was living outside for a while, in the cold and the elements, and he even considered committing suicide. Then at three in the morning, he heard the church bells ring:

I would remember it as the "three tower clock rings" and similar to the grains of wheat, compare it with any future difficulty or obstacle, to remind me how much suffering or misery a person can endure. I will never, never forget that moment, as the echo of the peeling chimes has been permanently recorded in a non-erasable section of my memory.

The author's twisting and turning route to eventual success was far from an easy one. He only knew a few words in German, most of which he'd read as he studied up on the language on the train to Bonn, but Mike didn't let a little matter like not knowing the language of the country he was bound for prevent him from going there to live and work. The same was true when he later traveled to Canada, and be among the lowest paid workers because he didn't speak English, and it was also true when he first arrived in America. But, despite the initial hardships the author details that he suffered through in each new country he moved to, his bosses recognized his intelligence and determination, and rewarded his hard work with bonuses, pay raises, and promotions.

The book also gets into what the author's life was like when he wasn't working, like the friends he met, and his love interests. These portions of his memoir I also found to be very interesting, and revealing in how his dating and interactions with other people revealed information about Mike's moral code of ethics. Like almost everyone, he's done some things he isn't proud of; but, in general, his code of ethics and sense of outrage when someone he personally knew acted immorally showed me a lot about his upstanding character.

Three Grains of Wheat by Mike Papasavas is one of the best memoirs I've ever read. It's not one about a famous actor, politician, or sports figure, but a person like you or me. That's why you, like I did, will find it so easy to identify with Mike Papasavas and his life. I've often wondered, as he does, how my own life would have been different if I hadn't done this or that, if I hadn't met my wife and we had our two children, etc., and I also can't help but to feel that divine guidance had to have been involved. But, whether or not you believe this, you'll find Three Grains of Wheat to be a gripping, engrossing memoir you'll want to be sure to read.

Reviewed by Douglas R. Cobb for http://www.bestsellersworld.com/

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Memoir of Abuse Offers Understanding, Hope, and a Gripping Read

Sharon Wallace's "A House Full of Whispers" is the first in a trilogy about her life, beginning as an abused child and ultimately as a survivor of abuse. This first book begins with a little girl, Sharon, and her two older brothers, Paul and Mark, living with a foster family that abuses them. Eventually, they are returned to an orphanage-the local "Home for Waifs and Strays" in Caerleon, Wales.

Sharon and her brothers are well-cared for in the orphanage, although they do have their disappointments-Sharon is especially unhappy that she gets a broken doll for Christmas. But at least the orphanage is a safe place for them, safer than their foster home. As Sharon gets older, she questions what became of her parents; she only has vague memories. Her older brother tells her they are dead, but she is unsure when she picks up on contradictions in his story.

Then one day, a woman appears at the orphanage who says she is their mother. Sharon and her brothers are excited, relieved, and hesitant about accepting her, but eventually, they go to live with her, her new husband, whom Sharon calls Stepfather in her thoughts but Dad to his face, and their half-sister, June. Sharon asks her mother what became of her father but does not receive satisfactory answers for a long time-however, because her father does not provide any child support, her mother immediately makes Sharon and her brothers take on a paper route to provide income to help with their room and board.

At first, things seem to work out for the siblings in their new home, but overtime, it becomes apparent that both Mother and Stepfather are abusive and unhappy adults. At certain points in the book, I have to admit I found their words and behaviors almost comical because they were so over the top in their lack of logic, meanness, and violent behavior, which is like an addiction in their inability to stop themselves once they begin beating the children. Mother is especially colorful in her language, surprising her children by her swearing at first, but later, just plain ridiculous. For example, at one point she tells Sharon:

You are a nothing! You have no one and you belong to no one! Even a piece of f-g wood belongs to something; it starts as a tree and ends up being something. No one wants an ugly a-s like you! The Arscotts threw you away just as easily as I throw c-p in the bin!"

Beyond her temper, Mother is not much of a housekeeper. The children rarely get to take baths. They are only allowed to change their underwear on Sundays. And because their mother does not wash their sheets, their stepfather leads them in contests to see who can catch the biggest fleas.

Worst of all is that Mother cannot even support Sharon when Stepfather begins having sexual interests in her. The most gripping, compelling, yet repulsive scenes result from his sexual pursuits of Sharon and her efforts to survive in and escape a house full of whispers where no one will listen, much less help her.

Although stories of abuse can be depressing and repulsive, I found "A House Full of Whispers" a deeply satisfying narrative because of its fast-paced action as well as its character development. While the readers' sympathies are always with Sharon, both Mother and Stepfather are so ridiculous that they are hard to like, yet there are moments when I actually felt sorry for them, such as when Mother finally tells Sharon about her real father, and Stepfather's complaints about having to raise another man's bastard children. While I would never condone their behavior, these scenes made both people three-dimensional and made me wish to know more about their own pasts that made them such dysfunctional beings.

The saddest part of this book is that through everything, Sharon holds on to hope. She continually envisions her mother holding her, standing up for her, taking her side against a sexually abusive stepfather. She dreams of her real father arriving to rescue her from her abusive childhood. She never gives up hope of being part of a happy family. I'm certain readers will feel compelled to go on to the second book "Surviving a House Full of Whispers" to find out whether Sharon ever achieves that dream.

Tyler R. Tichelaar holds a Bachelor's and Master's Degree from Northern Michigan University and a Ph.D. from Western Michigan University. His family's long relationship with Upper Michigan and his avid interest in genealogy inspired Dr. Tichelaar to write his Marquette Trilogy: Iron Pioneers, The Queen City, and Superior Heritage. Dr. Tichelaar is also a professional book reviewer and editor. For more information about Tyler R. Tichelaar, his writing, and his author services, visit:
http://www.marquettefiction.com/

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W's Memoir: Profiles in Choice

George W. Bush's memoir Decision Points is a surprisingly good read-not that I expected it to be terrible, as Bush-haters probably do. (I rate his presidency middling, better than his father's, and better than any Democrat's since at least JFK's.)

Given the sharp turn our nation has taken leftward-and downward-the memoir made me feel ridiculously nostalgic.

The chapter titles are short, punchy, to-the-point. You can practically hear W reciting them into his mini-tape recorder: "Quitting." "Running." "Personnel." "Stem Cells."

That would be "Quitting" as in drinking, and "Running" for political offices including governor of Texas and the presidency. "Personnel" relates Bush's decision-making process for nominating and/or firing staffers Dick Cheney, James Baker and Ted Olson (lawyers in Bush v. Gore), Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, Bob Gates, Andrew Card, John Roberts, Harriet Miers, and Samuel Alito.

Not surprisingly, the longest chapter is "Iraq," which outlines Bush's decision to invade the country and take out Saddam Hussein. Bush lays out the case for his decision to attack clearly, logically, and unimpeachably, including the overwhelming global consensus that Hussein was producing weapons of mass destruction. Bush chronicles the support he received from steadfast allies Tony Blair, John Howard, and Jose Maria Avnar, and the backstabbing he encountered from Gerhard Schroeder, Jacques Chirac, and Vladimir Putin.

The facts Bush provides on the lead-up to the Iraq War remind us that claims he "rushed to war," "went it alone," and had no plans for postwar Iraq are the fevered delusions of leftists. (Just reading about the U.S.'s efforts to rope Security Council members into approving UN resolutions to deal with Hussein "diplomatically," I grew six inches of facial hair.)

"Leading" describes Bush's leadership on a variety of issues, including No Child Left Behind and the regrettable Medicare prescription drug benefit, as well as his heartbreaking second-term failure to pass Social Security reform and his (mostly solid) immigration reform.

Three chapters are stinkers; fortunately, they come near the end. "Lazarus Effect" brags how generous Bush was with taxpayer money in starting an AIDS prevention program in Africa that constituted a drop in the bucket because it did nothing to address the corruption in Africa's tyrannical regimes. (Bizarre revelation: Upon landing in Tanzania, Bush writes, "[A] cluster of women danced to the festive beat of drums and horns. As one rotated to the music, I saw my photo stretched across her backside.")

"Freedom Agenda" boasts about Bush's push for a two-state Israeli-Palestinian solution over the objections of Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Powell, and his support for free elections for Palestinians who ended up voting Hamas into power. "Financial Crisis" justifies Bush's backing of the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) and automobile industry bailout. It's not surprising that the "moderate," "bipartisan" activity outlined in these three chapters was concentrated in Bush's final two years, after the disastrous political events of 2005 (including the outcry over his response to Hurricane Katrina).

In the introduction, Bush explains that the book is structured thematically: rather than a straightforward chronological narrative, each chapter covers a choice point in his life. The result can feel a bit postmodern at times. For example, we make it through one chapter that ends with his decision to run for president, then are plopped back into his pre-governorship days.

Still, I applaud Bush's decision to structure the book this way, because it emphasizes something important about the life of a political leader: namely, the importance of free will and personal responsibility. Bush describes his thought process as he faced each momentous decision, and while he admits he didn't always make the best decision, he insists he was the one who made the decisions, takes full responsibility for them, and learns from his mistakes.

Contrast the active title of Bush's memoir with the passive title of Barack Obama's premature first memoir, Dreams from My Father, which emphasizes the hereditary, environmental forces that swept Obama's worldview into the collectivist wilderness it inhabits today.

Or contrast Bush's willingness to take responsibility for his mistakes-and graceful post-presidency silence on Obama's calamitous first two years-with Obama's constant badmouthing of Bush and blaming him for everything bad in his administration. As Rush Limbaugh noted last week in his interview with the former president, Bush didn't spend eight years blaming President Bill Clinton for faulty, impotent foreign policy and failed efforts to prevent the spread of Islamic terrorist networks that attacked the West after 9/11.

Bush enjoys a certain satisfying revenge on his critics by laying out the facts and circumstances behind each decision and forcing them to judge whether they would have done differently.

The crucial passage from the excellent "Surge" chapter-and maybe from the whole book-is this: "Years from now, historians may look back and see the surge as a foregone conclusion, an inevitable bridge between the years of violence that followed liberation and the democracy that emerged. Nothing about the surge felt inevitable at the time. Public opinion ran strongly against it. Congress tried to block it. The enemy fought relentlessly to break our will." Beneficial outcomes aren't inevitable or immediate, Bush reminds us-they are the hard-won product of courage displayed at crucial decision points.

One thing supporters and detractors agree on is that Bush's unpopularity by the end of his second term was the result of choices he had made. His unpopularity was not proof he had made good choices, but it was evidence he had made tough ones.

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Reading Lolita in Tehran, A Memoir in Books - Analysis

For decades Iran has been the center for controversy. This week's headlines about Iran could invoke an image in one's mind of a boiler tank with vapors of suppressed religious anger bursting through the seams.

Below are some examples of the headlines:

Clashes erupt as Iran marks anniversary of embassy siege

Thousands rally in Tehran

In Iran, anti-government protests rival anti-American rallies

'Death to America' Day: How Iran Trained Its Young to Protest

Iran police to "strongly confront" Nov. 4 rallies

Iran warns of crackdown on any opposition protest

The tank could explode at any moment giving way to the accumulated pressure of hatred, threatening any opposition in its furious path.

Recently my reading of the memoir, Reading Lolita in Tehran has opened my eyes to the meaning of these headlines. The author, Azar Nafisi paints a painfully beautiful portrait of her life as an English Literature professor struggling to teach a subject that is contrary to the oppressive theocratic rule of the government in power. Her teachings of the literary works of James and Fitzgerald and Nabokov quietly defy the Islamic Republic and their fundamentalist beliefs with characters of independent thought and individualism; a stark contrast to the image of the ideal Muslim, an ideal which Nafisi and her secret students come to describe as "irrelevant". Reading her memoir has aroused my interest to learn more of what lies behind the headlines.

If you peer into the past you will see that these headlines are just a continual reincarnation from decades past. Since as early as the sixties the controversy has been boiling in two pots; Moujahedin's modernism and the totalitarian, anti-American ideologies of Khomeini. The intrinsic difference behind the two ideologies is democracy and human rights.

Up until 1979 Iran was a monarchy; that is until that monarchy under Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi was overthrown and Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was given status of Supreme Leader. Since that time these headlines have dominated many newspapers throughout the world. The reason is because of the totalitarian principle of velayat-e-faqih, the basis upon which Khomeiniism stands. Velayat-e-faqih is the principle of absolute theocratic rule. Khomeini believed only in the religious rule of the clergy or Islamic government.

Khomeini earned the support of many Shi'ite Muslims by earning the title of Ayatollah. The title itself, Ayatollah means "God's exemplar on earth", and Shi'ite Muslim fundamentalists believe this literally. This religious fervor and emphatic support made it easy for Khomeini to create an atmosphere that forced his opposition to acquiesce.

Khomeini preached the strict adherence to the Islamic government or "God's government". His word was absolute, and disobedience was considered a "revolt against God". In a talk at the Fayzieah School in Qom, August 30, 1979, Khomeini warned opponents: "Those who are trying to bring corruption and destruction to our country in the name of democracy will be oppressed. They are worse than Bani Ghorizeh Jews, and they must be hanged. We will oppress them by God's order and God's call to prayer." This threat of oppression wasn't just aimed at Bani Ghorizeh Jews, but targeted Iranians as well. An example is Azar Nafisi's expulsion from the University of Tehran after years of teaching because of her refusal to wear the veil. No longer were women in Iran allowed a choice; the religion became law. (Wikipedia, 2009)

Reading Azar Nafisi's memoir changed my perception of Iran. How Azar Nafisi remained passionate about literature before her expulsion was my first step to understanding the unrest in Iran. Imprinted on my mind is the tornado atmosphere that Nafisi managed to dodge for so long. She seemed to weather the storm up to this point by standing in the calm-eye of the storm, a calm which she created by immersing herself and her students in the fantasy world of Lolita, the honest world of The Great Gatsby and the passionate world of Daisy Miller. All the while, fundamentalist banners were being hung all over the walls of the university, protests were resonating from outside the classroom windows and the worst image, a student who set fire to himself running through the halls. Our most humble respect must go to Azar Nafisi for persisting to teach Western literature in such a convulsive climate where the leadership considered those teachings to be "of the devil". Nafisi held on longer than any other self-respecting free person could expect.

Even more etched in my mind is the reason why immersing herself in Western literature would surround her in calmness amidst the turbulence of a revolutionary Iran, and strike such a universal chord with her readers and her students. To illustrate this point we must go into Nafisi's class where The Great Gatsby becomes controversial enough to be put on a mock trial. Representing the book itself Nafisi defends Gatsby against the Islamic Republic of Iran and its trouble with the novels morality. Nafisi's response:

"You don't read Gatsby...to learn whether adultery is good or bad but to learn about how complicated issues such as adultery and fidelity and marriage are. A great novel heightens your senses and sensitivity to the complexities of life and of individuals, and prevents you from the self-righteousness that sees morality in fixed formulas about good and evil." (Nafisi, 2004)

The message I take home from that is the attribute of empathy. All of the books Nafisi studies with her students have one thing in common. The characters are all flawed. There is no clear hero or a clear villain. Their portraits are in watercolor, blurring the hero and the villain. You have empathy for both. Zarrin, Nafisi's student, after very ably defending Gatsby in the mock trial said to Nafisi: "This is an amazing book. It teaches you to value your dreams but to be wary of them also, to look for integrity in unusual places." Zarrin has no sense to act immorally after reading the book. Instead she sees through the characters eyes and learns from their flaws. And reading these books under the context of a revolutionary Iran seems to awaken Nafisi's students to the fact that morality cannot be forced upon people. These books do not have some mystical power to entrance someone into acting out evil as the revolutionaries claim. I am convinced that the reason why these books strike such a chord with the reader is because of the characters freedom to choose. Ideals and religious laws are not things that can be forced upon an individual because the truth is they will never be accepted, just as with Humbert or the blind censor. It's ironic actually that these books are considered by the Khomeini supporters to be powerful enough to force the ideals of its characters on the reader. Ironic because that is exactly what the revolutionaries are doing, enforcing "morality" on its subjects with its Revolutionary Guards. It is in true narcissistic form, accusing your enemy of what you are guilty of. But the individual cannot be fooled.

"Neither Humbert nor the blind censor ever possesses his victims, they always elude him, just as objects of fantasy are always simultaneously within reach and inaccessible. No matter how they may be broken, the victims will not be forced into submission." (Nafisi, 2004)

Nafisi's memoir is a call to every man and woman that Iranians want democracy. They want the freedom to choose without the fear of death and oppression from the Khomeini supporters. She wants us to know that despite Khomeini's death in 1989, his ideologies and oppression rage on. In fact his death only shows how much of a hold he had on his supporters. "Iranians poured out into the cities and streets to mourn Khomeini's death in a "completely spontaneous and unorchestrated outpouring of grief." Since then, the Islamic Republic of Iran has tried to stay faithful to his ideology. (Wikipedia, 2009)

There is a majority that does not agree with absolute theocratic rule. Today their anti-government protests play out on the streets of Iran. The most active opposing anti-government group Moujahedin, seek democracy, human rights, liberty and grace and compassion versus violence and vengeance; a stark contrast to the oppressive and absolute theocratic rule in place now. We can read the result of their efforts in the declaration of the National Council of Resistance of Iran. A summary of the declaration can be found in Chapter 15, Modern, Democratic Islam: Antithesis to Fundamentalism of the book Islamic Fundamentalism - The new Global Threat:

"The program of the National Council of Resistance of lran recognizes the "individual and social rights of all citizens as stressed in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights." It guarantees general freedoms, including freedom of association, thought and speech, the media, parties, unions, councils, faiths and religions, and professions. The NCR program also calls for "the abolishment of military and extraordinary tribunals, the investigation of political offenses in civil courts with juries present," and guarantees the "right of the accused to defense and to the choice of the defense counsel, and the right to appeal" It emphasizes "the banning of torture under any pretext,"' and stresses "the judicial and professional security for all citizens and abolishment of Komitehs and the Guards Corps." (Mohaddessin, 1993)

This National Council of Resistance of Iran has given hope to the many Iranian's, especially women, who suffer the oppression from the absolute rule of the Republic of Iran. But will we ever see the end of this battle? Will Iran emerge from the clutches of Khomeini's terrorist-religious tyranny? The Mojahedin believe so; in fact they believe it is a necessity. Perhaps it may be in your lifetime, or perhaps not. As for now one can only cast a glimpse into the future to see what Iran will become (should the democratic liberating Islam triumph) by reading the words of the Mojahedin's Massoud Rajavi:

"We shall live in peace and coexistence with our neighbors. Democratic Iran will not recognize any place for vengeance, blind hatred, or Khomeini's tribunals or brand of anarchy. We are responsible enough not to be involved in internal and international adventurism. We do not want an antidemocratic theocracy like Khomeini's. Instead of "exporting the revolution," we shall invite our country's experts to return to Iran. In democratic Iran no one will be persecuted for his ideology or religion. Tomorrow's Iran will be free of repression and religious hypocrisy. Women, workers, peasants, religious and ethnic minorities will not be oppressed. Kurds, Turks, Jews, Muslims, Armenians, Christians, Zoroastrians, and non-Muslims will enjoy equal rights. Iran will become a symbol of peace, stability, and friendship in the Middle East." (Rajavi, 1982)

I am a business student recognized as an outstanding business student and sit on the dean's list with a 3.9 grade point average. Currently I am an officer in the PBL (Professional Business Leaders) Club as webmaster. I am also the president of an Icelandic cultural association. I believe in giving back to the community and raising awareness. My strengths are in presentations, personal selling, customer service and developing systems and procedures that increase productivity.

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K.C. Lauer's Harrowing Addiction And Recovery Memoir, 'Bad Girl Gone Mom'

K.C. Lauer opens 'Bad Girl Gone Mom,' her memoir of drug and alcohol addiction and recovery, with an author's note referencing James Frey's 'A Million Little Pieces.' Lauer's harrowing and ultimately hopeful depiction of her earlier life may remind some of Frey's memoir, though Lauer attests she's done her best to fact-check where possible. Given the obstacles she's had to overcome, Lauer's memoir could be no one else's but her own.

Lauer was born with a cleft palate, a condition that wasn't discovered until after her parents left the hospital with her. Somehow her doctors wouldn't notice until Lauer's teen years that she was also born with vaginal agenesis, an underdeveloped vaginal canal. In Lauer's case, she had no vaginal opening. One had to be surgically created. Lauer writes poignantly of her sense of being a sexless being turned into an artificial woman, created expressly for the purpose of male pleasure. By the time she had her surgery at age 15, Lauer no longer considered herself a virgin; she and a boyfriend had been having interstitial intercourse without knowing any better. Still, she felt violated and offended at the thought of having to use a set of plastic vaginal dilators until, as her doctors liked to put it, she got married.

She had already turned to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain of being different. After Lauer's surgery, she added promiscuity to her list of self-destructive behaviors. I don't mean that to sound negative toward teenage sexuality in general. Some teens have sex because they enjoy it or because they fall in love, but Lauer wasn't one of them. She seemed to be out to prove to the world that she was a "real" woman in the only way she could figure out how to. This led her into destructive relationships, two bad marriages, sexual abuse and generally being used.

As one can guess from the title, Lauer got pregnant and had a daughter, despite the uterine complications that are sometimes associated with vaginal agenesis. Her transformation was slow and, at times, painful, but eventually she transitioned from recovering addict to responsible parent.

Lauer suggests this book be shared with teens who might be headed down the same self-destructive path. It's not what would typically be considered a "young adult" book. It contains explicit depictions of sexual acts, including acts in the context of a Dominant-submissive relationship. However, mature teens who struggle with drug use, alcohol addiction or abusive relationships may relate to Lauer and learn from her experience.

The best pull-out quote from Bad Girl Gone Mom is this one: "I already knew that I loved words, but I discovered that I loved words about sex even more."

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this e-book from the author in exchange for this review. I was not otherwise compensated.

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Major Dream - A Memoir For The Decade

"Major Dream: From Immigrant Housemaid to Harvard PhD" is the memoir of Jin Kyu (Suh) Robertson, PhD. When reading Robertson's memoir, you'll soon realize that her life is the true representation of the "American Dream." Absolutely nothing was too great for her to overcome - and she succeeded in both life and career despite the oppressive obstacles she faced.

The beginning story of "Major Dream" begins with Jin receiving her PhD from Harvard at the age of 57 - not exactly the age of most college "students." It was an extraordinary moment in her life and one that she shared with family and friends who supported her. It was also the culmination of everything she had accomplished in her thirty-five years of being in America.

Harvard degrees and the level of success that Jin has received as an International motivational speaker and writer didn't come easy for this Korean immigrant who began her life in America as a housemaid. She was twenty-two years old, spoke no English and after purchasing a one-way ticket, had only $100 to her name - plus crushing debts to pay.

Born in 1948 in a small Korean fishing village named Wollae, Jin was pretty much isolated from the world. Her parents had never been to school and the family lived in abject poverty. Jin's father was a forced-laborer in a coalmine and Jin provides enough of her family's background for readers to visualize how denigrating their lives were.

"Major Dream" is truly remarkable in that it tells the story from beginning to present day of a young woman who succeeded against all odds and who ran the gamut from factory worker, waitress and housemaid to become a Major in the United States Army, Harvard graduate, a popular inspirational/motivational speaker and bestselling author.

Jin's story in "Major Dream" will appeal to every one of all ages who desire to live happier and more fulfilled lives. Immigrants to America, students, people who are trying to build careers or businesses and military personnel will especially find inspiration in "Major Dream"'s pages.

Jin is quite popular on the motivational speaking circuit, but somehow found time in her busy schedule to write her memoir, "Major Dream", and currently is the host of a radio talk show on the Voice of America/World Talk Radio called "American Dreams: The Sky Is the Limit."

"Major Dream" is an engaging read that will have you hooked from the beginning page and keep you mesmerized to the end. Jin's story has been lauded by critics as "one of the most profoundly affecting memoirs of the decade." Her incredible success proves that people really can create the lives they desire.

Regardless of background and hurdles to be faced, readers will find hope from "Major Dream: From Immigrant Housemaid to Harvard PhD", and realize that if Jin Kyu Robertson, PhD can do it, it's possible for anyone to achieve the American Dream.

Lauren Smith is editor for the Virtual Book Review Network - reviews books by well known bestselling authors and books by soon to be recognized names. For more information, visit: http://virtualbookreviewnetwork.com/. This review covers Major Dream: From Immigrant Housemaid to Harvard Ph.D., by Jin Kyu Robertson, Ph.D.

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